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My Old Buddy Lareneg!
My smug Russian friend, Lareneg, is asking me for money again. He’s a nice guy and all, but I just don’t understand him. He’s not the most reliable person I know and he’s asked me for money before.
Once, I loaned him $1900 to help him pay his rent and later found out he spent it on a night at Mandalay Bay and a stripper named Mandy. He paid me back that money, but 8 months late. Then, back in high school, I loaned him some money to fix his bike — not only did he not fix his bike, but he never paid me back. So, lets just say, he’s not the most trustworthy of fellows. But hey, he’s a fellow entrepreneur so I think, “What the heck?” I’ll give him the chance – we all know the economy sucks.
Anyway, he called me the other day asking for a loan. He must think of me like a forgiving parent that always caves-in to their spoiled child. Over the phone he tells that he is having problems meeting his payroll for his business. Lareneg is a flamboyant character; stubborn and living in a world to his own. He reminds me of one of those nutty guys you’d see on TV stuck in some other generation. My girlfriend thinks he’s just a simple luddite lacking in intelligence — I think he’s hard-headed and hell bent on living his life regardless of circumstance.
Lareneg started a business right out of college and actually did pretty well. In that day, he was one of the most successful guys I’ve ever known. But things changed and Lareneg refused to follow suit. Now, Lareneg’s business loses money every year and everyone I know, hates the product he sells. Yet, year after year he continues to sell the same old junk that no one wants to buy. I don’t know how his store stays in business. Instead of changing his product, he spends more money on advertising hoping to brainwash convince unsuspecting peoples that his products are just as good as his competitors.
I can’t remember that last time I shopped at Lareneg’s store — there just isn’t any reason for me to shop there when I can go to his competitor’s store; their stuff lasts longer and is more reliable, and by God, isn’t as expensive.
Yet, Lareneg chugs away year after year, losing money and borrowing to finance his operation and his extravagant lifestyle. I’m beginning to believe he thinks it’s a monopoly game.
This time, Lareneg claims that he can’t pay his workers. This economy has really done his business in. Problem is, Laraneg likes to hire family, friends, and friends of family — and then he pays them a shitload more money than what they are worth. Outrageous health benefits, numerous coffee breaks, free golf club memberships, big pension plans, heck, Lareneg even pays them when they don’t show up to work. I guess Lareneg has a big heart.
So as I waited for Lareneg to arrive at my house, I couldn’t help but wonder if he finally changed his tune. Perhaps desperation made him see the light? Confident, I took a drink of my coffee and envisioned a new Lareneg, finally awake to the demands of running a real, profitable business.
As I peered out my window waiting for Lareneg, I was hit with a shockwave: Here he comes … rolling up my driveway in a brand new Mercedes SLR 722. I wonder,“Wow, a $400,000 car … why does he need money from me?”. Exiting the car in a nicely tailored suit, brand unknown, but surely something from Chicago’s Magnificent Mile, Lareneg walks up to me and shakes my hand. “MJ! What’s up old buddy!?”
Lareneg, obviously hadn’t lost his thirst for opulence.
“Lareneg”, I asked him, “How can you afford this car?”
“Oh I can’t”, he laughs, “it’s fully leveraged like the rest of my business. Don’t worry about that, lets talk about this loan I need, can we?”
Disheveled, I walk into my home with Lareneg trailing. We sit on the couch.
“So”, Lareneg says, “I need a loan to help pay my payroll and keep products in my store, I’m running out of money. Can you help?”
Incredulously, I respond “Lareneg, your employees are all overpaid” I asked, “Can’t they take a pay cut? Or can’t you lay a few off?”
Lareneg said “No, they like their benefits and want to keep them, even if it means losing their job”
I counter, “So if I loan you money, what are you going to do differently with it that you haven’t been doing? Some cost cutting? Some new equipment? Some new products maybe that people want to buy?”
“Naw, none of that.” Lareneg smirks, “I just want keep doing what I am doing.”
As I sat there looking at my old high school buddy, Lareneg Srotom, the star quarterback from my High School team many decades ago, I couldn’t help but be angry. Here he was all cocksure and strung out on his own sloth asking me for money — his balls were bigger and bolder than before.
I calculated the variables and then asked myself … “Should I loan Lareneg money?”
How about you?
Would you loan Lareneg money?
Let me know below.
To find out what I did, scroll below …
So, what did I do? Did I loan Lareneg my money?
Yes. I did.
Shocked?
Don’t be.
I have news for you.
So did you.
My friend is also your friend. I reversed his real name to protect his identity. Lareneg Srotom is really General Motors. Thank you for investing in his business.
Peace,
MJ
Side Note: Curious to how Lareneg spends his money? Visit:
http://www.clickondetroit.com/video/10235271/index.html
Side Note:: Lareneg thanks you for your support!
http://www.autoblog.com/2008/12/31/cant-win-for-losing-chrysler-criticized-for-thank-you-ads/
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When I was in my 20's, they laughed and said I was nuts. "MJ! You're dreaming!" Then, I got the last laugh. I retired in my 30's and now live a dream. Those same people now whore their life away for a paycheck only to reclaim their salvation on the weekend. With a correctly executed Fastlane plan, everyday of your life can be your weekend.
Dude, that was f’ing great!
Eloquently crafted, awesome job.
You ready for video yet? :)
Yes, Santa is bringing me a vid-cam!! If you like the story, please pass it on … DIGG it, send it to friends, time to get pissed! If government fails to do the will of the people, government fails to exist.
Submitted to Digg! Great stuff.
MJ I thank you. I no longer will talk myself blue in the face to bailout proponents. I will simply forward them this link.
-Jeff Allen (Jeffs07 Fastlane)
Isn’t this bordering on political discussion :p
BTW when I first saw the name I thought it was a joke since it sounded like “scrotum”, but it is definitely the automotive bailout in a nutshell- unions pulling one way(for more benefits, pay, privileges) and ownership the other(growth, profits, dividends)- what is lost in it all is- what do they put in and most of all QUALITY of the product coming out and customer SATISFACTION.
Sad reality is that the Big 3 have become such a staple of the economy(millions of jobs depend on their existence, not necessarily their efficiency or stability) that there was no way they were gonna be left for dead when they should’ve gotten the Ol’ Yeller treatment about 5yrs ago!
Sad but true, we are playing in a rigged game.
IBD ran a good article that has tempered my less than enthusiastic support of this and similar bailouts.
http://www.ibdeditorials.com/IBDArticles.aspx?id=315184948747440
Just the same, none of us should get distracted with the political scene; that will only keep us from doing what we need to do as entrepreneurs.
Carpae Diem.
One thing i learned from my parents, although they may not realize it. If someone is in such a shitty situation and they are asking for money then here are the end results.
1. If you give them money, don’t expect it back
2. Don’t give money and let them fail on there own, so they learn’
If they didn’t awaken to the reality they and take appropriate steps to ask for help, then its their fault.
WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Well written. Love It ! I’m going to add to my stumble upon account for others.
Someone once told me, if you want someone out of your life who is bad for you, borrow them money. You’ll never see em again.