You and Your Opinions...

Are you attached to your opinions?
Do you view them as an extension of who you are?
Do you ever change your opinion on an issue?
Are you personally hurt if someone does not agree with your opinion?

Just curious. Interesting topic.

I have more questions related to this - but I'm interested in people's answers to this first....

The majority of the time I don't take it personally if people don't agree with me. I can't think of one time I took it personally but I'm sure there is that issue out there.

If someone doesn't agree, then they just don't agree. The sooner they recognize I'm right the better it will be for all of us.

I'm not anymore. However, I used to really be attached to my opinions. When I was in my late teens and early twenty's I had an opinion about everything - and I took pride in having an opinion. Perhaps I even viewed it as a mark of intelligence.

No. Not anymore. But... you guessed it. I used to. It is partly how I defined myself.... "I am a feminist" for example. Well, what does that mean? It means I have an opinion about women and what their place is in the world. So, saying "I am a (opinion)" was very much a way of saying "this opinion is who I am"

As I grow older, I'm finding my opinions shift with time. However, as a general rule I haven't changed many of my opinions. Hmm. Maybe I am more attached to them than I think.

As a general rule, I am not. There is one situation in which I feel personally hurt - and that is when I feel as if my spouse has dismissed my opinion. Consider it and respectfully disagree - fine. But if I feel it wasn't even considered, I do feel hurt. Other than that issolated situation, I typically view a difference in opinion as a way to learn about someone else - and myself.

I couldn't find my favorite smiley - - the little guy that hits the floor.... so, gotta go with the rofl guy.

Hmm...interesting topic ATW.

I would say that I have my opinions and then I have my convictions.

I view my opinions as little more than reflections on the moment. My convictions however, are very much a part of me and have changed little over time.

I don't get upset when either are challenged, rather, I welcome a fresh perspective as it gives me a chance to reflect on my outlook and change it if need be.

...Why? What you got up your sleve Sonya?

Very interesting perspective. I've never thought about "convictions."

Can you give an example of an opinion and a conviction?



Just some "fastlane" observations all in due time.

My best friend and I had a long conversation about this a couple weeks ago. What I realized is that as I get older, I've become much less attached to my opinions about "issues" and much more attached to my opinions about "people".

I recognize that as my world changes, my opinions about the world around me change very much as well; but, because I don't think people tend to change very much, I'm very stubborn when it comes to changing my opinion about people.

I view them as exactly who I am. In other words, "You are what you think."

I think it was Isaac Asimov who wrote a really great essay on knowledge, and that essay has shaped my view on opinion/belief as well. In the essay, he basically claimed that knowledge is all about paradigm shift (not his term) and continual refinement.

An an example, 1000 years ago, most people believed the earth was flat. By the 14th century, most people believed that the the earth was round. By the 19th century, scientists believed that the earth wasn't quite round, but instead was ellipsoidal. In the last 100 years or so, astronomers have determined that's not quite accurate either, and have mapped the earth's shape much more precisely. I imagine the refinement will continue for many years to come.

This is the way much of science and knowledge progresses. There are some major paradigm shifts in thinking (flat -> round), and then there is continual refinement of the idea that generates more and more precise knowledge.

I believe opinions are much the same. Throughout life, people have some major paradigm shifts in thinking (for example, a friend of mine who had been pro-choice for her whole life became pro-life after getting pregnant). But, at some point, your fundamental belief system is established, and after that, it's all about refining your beliefs and opinions (for example, perhaps my friend will stay pro-life, but change her mind on various edge-cases, like pregnancy as a result of rape).

Of course, that's not to say other major paradigm shifts won't occur later, but for the most part, life is about major shifts in opinion and then continual refinement.

So, after all that blabbing, my response to the question is, yes, I have major paradigm shifts in my beliefs every once in a while, but for the most part, my changes in opinion are more refinement than anything.

Not at all. But, I get very frustrated when people base their opinion on flawed logic.

I don't know why this bothers me so much (perhaps a therapist could tell me ), but people who try to rationalize their opinion using poor critical reasoning skills really gets me frustrated.

Conversely, if someone has what I consider a "weird" belief, but doesn't try to justify it with poor logic, I have no issue.

As an example, let's say two people came to me and said they believed psychic powers. The first said, "I believe in psychic powers because I went to a psychic at a carnival this one time, and she told me that good things were going to happen to me...and they did!" The second said, "I don't really have an explanation for why I believe in psychic powers, I just do."

The first person would bother me a lot more than the second person.

It may seem like I am splitting hairs here, but for me the difference is I am not overly attached to my opinions as they fall more into the judgment category--and my opinions change often, whereas my convictions don't. ...I suppose you could say that my convictions are more thought out and value based.

An opinion (def:a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty): My neighbor lives like Jed Clampet and is a jerk. Although there is some degree of proof in this, I would say that proof is relative. (Although if you saw some of his relatives...)

A conviction (def:an unshakable belief in something without need for proof or evidence): I believe that people are inherently good, and that if you drill far enough down, we all want the same things in life. I figure if Anne Frank can believe this, then I can too. I have met enough good people in my life to give this opinion some level of validity, without me meeting 100% of the people on the planet.

JScott - - Where did you learn your critical thinking skills?
Yves - - Makes sense. Thanks for the clarification.

I've always been very analytical, but I'd probably say that I honed the skills in college, where I studied engineering, mathematics and philosophy. While I had to take a couple courses specifically on "Logic" and "Theorems," all the courses I took rewarded strong critical thinking skills.

Unfortunately, my being so left-brained combined with my being slightly OCD (not in the washing-my-hands-all-the-time way, but in the needing-order-in-my-life way), often results in my unintentionally being a jerk...

In other words, when I hear someone say something that doesn't make sense, while my inner-voice is saying, "let it go...let it go...," my brain is saying, "what, you're not going to correct him!?!?"

For example, I just reread the sentence above, and I realized that I said, "...my brain is saying...," and it bothers me, because I know that my brain can't speak, and that I should have picked a more accurate set of words...

Okay, now I have to go check and see if it's grammatically correct to put the comma after the ellipses in the two quote above ("...,").

And then maybe work on finding a therapist...

JScott,

Very insightful. Thanks for sharing. I feel like I understand you so much more because of this thread.

Save yourself the money on a therapist--my guess is that once you guys have the baby, a lot of this will fall by the wayside. ...When is JScottJr gettin' here? I wanna see some pics!

Actually, I've found that just leaving my job last year has provided a lot opportunity to overhaul my personality. Now that I no longer have the routine of working in an office, it forces me to "go with the flow" and to deal with less structure in my life.

And, as you pointed out Yves, once the baby arrives, it will probably be that times ten.

The little guy is due in about 10 weeks (mid-September)...assuming he doesn't kick his way out sooner, that is...

I only attach my opinion to the fact. You will never know who is right or wrong until the fact tell you so.

Even I believe my opinion is right, it may turns out wrong. So I am always open to hear what other people are thinking. Digest them and decided if I was wrong or right.

You can never change a person's bias, so why bother to feel bad when they don't agree with you? However you can change their thought and the way they think by proving you have a better right opinion.

I'm really not THAT bad...

Oh.....

I just can't resist it....

and

?????

Oh my goodness.... I didn't mean it like that!

Great topic.

I think it depends on what the opinion is about on whether or not I'm attached. For instance: I have an opinion that the constitution is an incredibly well conceived document that was centuries ahead of its time. I hold that opinion very highly and am will to literally die to protect the values instilled within it. I even took an oath to protect it.

I also have an opinion that wood cabinets look far better a home then metal or plastic. The difference is I will not lose a bit of sleep if someone has an ugly kitchen.

I think opinions are very much an extension of who you are. They contribute to your values and beliefs. And are a by product of your values and beliefs. Sort of a chicken or egg type of thing. Your opinions affect your decisions and your character. Ex: Fastlaners have the opinion that working your whole life to die a few years after retirement is a poor way to go about things. Consequently they change their habits away from the slow lane. It helps define them.

I change my opinions often on items, but rarely without getting a strong reason to do so.

I rather enjoy when people have a different opinion then me. You'll find that I play 20 questions with them. I want to know why they hold that different point of view. Often times it will teach me something I did not know. I'm a fascinated learner so that really appeals to me. It also allows for very interesting discussions with certain folks. Often times discussions will either solidifies my view or change my view. Changing my point of view can be fascinating as well. Picture "Dead Poets Society" and students looking at the classroom from a different vantage point. Stand on your chair right now and tell me your not at least briefly intrigued by the different way you see the room.

I do get very frustrated when someone can't have an intelligent argument with me. Its like arguing with a two year old and merely causes grey hairs. Logical arguments on the other hand can be a very entertaining way to spend an evening by the campfire or break at the water cooler.

Very fair question...

I think my choice of the word "personality" was bad. Leaving my job forced me to change my way of dealing with my need for routine and structure in my life. It didn't really change my external personality.

Though, that said, I've changed my opinion of what I said in a post above...and while I just wrote a long rambling philosophical post going into more detail, I'll leave it at this:

I'm sure people do change (to various degrees). Yet, as I mentioned, I still rarely find myself open to changing my opinion of people.

Why is this?

I'm guessing that this is the way my brain is programmed (as are most/all people). It seems to me that there is a natural advantage to forming an opinions/beliefs and holding steadfast to those beliefs.

We are wired to react to stimuli in a way that proved beneficial the last time we encountered that same stimuli.

Just like we think, "I got burned last time I touched that hot oven...I'm not going to touch it again," we also think, "I didn't like that person the last time I talked to him...I'm not going to like him now either."

Maybe we would like the person now. And, who knows, maybe the oven isn't hot this time. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I think we're programmed not to find out...

I previously said that people don't change and that's why I don't change my opinion of people. In reality, I think people probably do change, but I still don't tend to change my opinion, because I believe that's the way my brain is wired.

[Btw, I'm not saying that it's impossible to overrule your brain when it comes to giving people a second chance...lots of people do overrule their brains...we tend to look up to these people and think, "Wow, she's a really good person..."]

Oh, and I guess this post is proof that I have the ability to change my opinion...

I'm very curious, you are an avid poker player. While long term results can be fairly constant, hand to hand results can very greatly. Did you have to overcome this setback when learning the game or did using longterm odds weigh greater for you?

Sorry to derail.